Hefty heads, heftier headlines.
A few weeks ago I tweeted the following question: Initially I asked this in a joking manner. Obviously there is nothing serious about this. Trevor Lawrence plays football – he … Continue Reading Are the San Francisco Giants Tanking Their 2020 Season In Hopes of Landing Trevor Lawrence In The 2021 Draft?
On January 30th, Bradford Doolittle wrote an article for ESPN+ ranking the best MLB lineups. I opened the link and scrolled all the way down to the bottom – anticipating … Continue Reading Do The Giants Have The Worst Lineup In All Of Baseball?
I have no idea what is going on with this ball club. From a baseball and organizational perspective I have no clue how this can benefit the franchise. I understand … Continue Reading WHAT ARE THE GIANTS DOING!? WHY DID WE SIGN HUNTER PENCE!?
I was getting reading for work today and scrolling Twitter, like I usually do while I eat breakfast. I came across the following tweet from Darren Rovell: My first reaction … Continue Reading New Balance Is Releasing The Coolest Baseball Cleats And Flops
“Every new beginning comes from some other beginning’s end” Semisonic – “Closing Time” …classic words from Semisonic’s 1998 Hit Closing Time. Funny thing is that it has nothing to do … Continue Reading Chiefs To “Chop” 49ers for Super Bowl 54 Title
Boys night – I went to the movies with my brother and my dad. We saw 1917 – a war movie – duh. We got our concessions, and used the … Continue Reading My Dad Pulled The Most Alpha Move Of All Time
Imagine if you will – the scariest Super Bowl imaginable. In the clip above, Owen Wilson is describing an armageddon-inducing meteor. To me – he may as well be describing … Continue Reading The Post-Apocalyptic Super Bowl Nightmare-Fuel Doomsday-Scenario That We Are Facing
Starting on Jan. 1, 2020, Oregon retail stores and restaurants can no longer provide single-use checkout bags. They also must, in most instances, charge at least five cents for paper … Continue Reading The Plastic Bag Ban In Oregon Is Bullshit
This has been a tough offseason to be a fan of the San Francisco Giants. Bruce Bochy retired. We lost Madison Bumgarner to the Diamondbacks. Our front office has not … Continue Reading Do Not Worry Giants Fans: Chris Shaw Likes Gabe Kapler
This is Part 2 in a series of how I am a better baseball player than NBA All-Stars Kevin Love and Klay Thompson. Click below for Part 1 in this … Continue Reading 2020 UPDATE: Kevin Love And Klay Thompson Ruined My Little League Dreams But Who Is The Better Baseball Player Now?
This was a big year for us at Hefty Headlines. 2019 was our first year of existence. What started as a hobby and a tool to make my friends laugh … Continue Reading Looking Back: 2019 At Hefty Headlines
The day is finally here. The reign of mediocrity is over in Dallas. Moments ago a source close to the Cowboys confirmed with me that Jason Garrett will not return … Continue Reading BREAKING: Jason Garrett Will Not Return As Head Coach Of The Dallas Cowboys in 2020 – SOURCE CONFIRMS
Last week was officially graded as an “ASS” week for NFL on TV in the Portland-Metro Area. Will this final week be any different? Let’s find out. Merry Christmas – … Continue Reading The Portland Metro Area Gets Decent NFL Games: Week 17
Big time botch job here. I forgot about the Saturday slate of NFL games. Thanks to my brother for reminding me. Unfortunately for me – I am too much of … Continue Reading BREAKING: I BOTCHED THE WEEK 16 NFL TV SCHEDULE
I made a huge mistake last week. I was naive enough to believe that we would actually get the Cowboys-Rams game on TV in the Portland area. Without any heads … Continue Reading The Portland Metro Area Gets ASS NFL Games: Week 16
